Bidey-in revisited

I had a comment on my Scottish words post, bidey-in, from someone called Mickey. He commented, “a rose by any other name is still the same–whether it is a bidey in or a partner–it still is a relationship without commitment and one that each one uses the other…for whatever purpose –how can one love purely in a relationship that is adulterous?

Frankly, I was a bit worried about approving the comment in case I was deluged by weird Christian sect messages. However, I do want to say that I know several very committed and close couples who for some reason known to themselves have never thought it necessary to have a piece of official paper to seal their happiness.

Two of our friends have been living together for nearly 40 years and are completely devoted to each other. As it happens, they never had any children. I suppose children might be upset if their parents aren’t married and according to all the research, children are better off in all sorts of ways if the parents are married.

I’m more than a wee bit puzzled as to why Mickey is assuming that couples who are living together are committing adultery though. Surely one of the bidey-ins has to be married for that to be the case.

Nowadays most people who are living together have never been married to anyone before, so adultery just isn’t an issue at all.

I say, live and let live, as long as no-one is being hurt by the situation, surely it shouldn’t be a problem.

Scottish Words.

Bidey-in.

In Scotland if you are – as my mother would have put it – living in sin with someone, then they are described as being your bidey-in. I really like this wee phrase as it describes the relationship perfectly and it is the same whether it is a man or a woman. They are the person that you stay in with, rather than just someone that you go out with.

I don’t like this modern thing nowadays where everyone is described as someone’s ‘partner’. I’ve even heard the ‘p’ word being used to describe wives and husbands, which I really can’t understand. I wouldn’t be at all chuffed to be described in that way, seeing that we went to the bother of actually getting married and paying £7.50 for the marriage licence.

We had a family meal out last night and our youngest son and his lovely ‘bidey-in’ managed to come through from Dundee for it, but I’ve got a horrible feeling that they describe themselves as partners on Facebook.

It would be great if everyone would adopt that lovely non-sexist term of bidey-in. It just sounds so homely to me.

I’m scunnered by partners. They should all have their bahoukies skelped, and become bidey-ins.