Alex and Duncan’s wedding

The wedding of Alex and Duncan (our eldest son) was on Saturday, at The Cow Shed in Crail – and a fine time was had by all. We didn’t take enough photos of the surroundings but you can see the venue via various other weddings here all very stylish I think.

Below is a photo of Duncan and Alex, taken just after the ceremony. Alex is an architect and Duncan is an IT manager, both working in Edinburgh.

Duncan and Alex

It was a Humanist wedding which we had never experienced before but it means that the couple is in control and write it themselves so the celebrant told the story of how Duncan and Alex got together in the first place – Tinder apparently! Then how eventually they got engaged at Lunan Bay, a beach just north of Dundee and one that we used to visit as a family. You can see photos of it here.

The wedding rings were tied together with a small strip of the suit fabric and then they were sent around the entire ‘congregation’ in a ring-warming ceremony, each guest being asked to hold the rings in their hands for a few seconds, eventually the rings reached the front again and were passed to the best man via the other groomsmen. It was a wee bit of a struggle to get them untied, but eventually they were.

Meanwhile the mothers were involved in the hand-fasting ceremony, something that I only discovered the night before. I was a bit alarmed about that as I’m not one for standing up and doing anything in front of an audience, but I managed my part which was to lay a sash-like piece of Duncan’s suit fabric over the couple’s joined hands, then Jo – Alex’s mother – did the same with a piece of white silk, except this time the fabric is threaded under their hands and when they stepped back, hey presto – the fabrics are tied together with a knot – hence the saying ‘tying the knot’. Apparently it’s an old Scottish tradition but we had never seen it done before. It’s very effective. I’ll show you a photo of that eventually I hope.

Below is a photo of me and Jack which was taken by Duncan, he had just got spliced so I suppose we can forgive him for cutting off our legs! My dress was pale grey ‘fit and flare’ style. I have no idea why I’m holding two empty wine glasses. I wore a short woollen coat in a sort of cerise colour. I expected it to be freezing but it was a very mild day.

J and K

Our youngest son Gordon (the best man) got married a few years ago and the photo below is of him and his wife Laura. Laura’s dress was made from fabric from Hawaii, just in case you didn’t guess it! Gordon enjoys wearing his kilt but Duncan can’t be persuaded into one, the groomsmen were a mixture of kilts and suits.

Gordon and Laura

Cat Morley (one of the many guests) took some great photos which she has put on Facebook, I hope it’s okay to embed them on ‘Pining’. I have no idea of the etiquette.

Bags of olive leaves were passed around the guests so they could all take a handful to throw in place of confetti as Duncan and Alex went up the aisle at the end of the ceremony. As it happens I’m just out of view in all of the photos, but I’ll appear in some of the official ones that were were taken – when they turn up.

There are a few more pre wedding photos here

19 thoughts on “Alex and Duncan’s wedding

  1. What a lovely wedding! I just discovered your blog today. You do a great job. I lived in Scotland many years ago, while reading archaeology at Edinburgh University. Your blog is a nice way to re-visit a place I love. I also have a son named Gordon and my middle name is Duncan. Fun coincidences. Thanks for all of this.

    • Molly,
      Welcome to ‘Pining’. Duncan was also at Edinburgh University. Studying archaeology must have been great, we’re lucky to have some standing stones and such around this area. As it happens Duncan is also my husband’s middle name (and was his father’s too) but I believe it was his great-grandmother’s maiden name and they originally came from the Forfar area.

      • Cool. Duncan is one of those names that goes way back in our family. They were from Kintail. I meant to tell you that our youngest, Ross, got married in a humanist wedding last spring. It was very sweet.

        • Molly,
          I was surprised that the humanist wedding was so thoughtful and full of symbolism, but I think the couple is in control of it all. A friend who was at one said they were all looking around at each other saying – is that it then? as it was just a few poems being read out. I imagine they must have said ‘I will’ at some point though. Hmm, Kintail is quite far from Forfar so – probably not related then although I think they originated from the Inverness area.

    • Jennifer,
      Thanks. It was very different from any other wedding I had been to and had some lovely moments, especially when I compare it with our very staid wedding in 1976.

  2. It looks like it was fun and elegant. I like Alex’s dress, with the blue fading up from the bottom. I also like Laura’s dress. Duncan looks so much like Jack but with your coloring.

    • Joan,
      Everyone has been saying how much like Jack Duncan is but previously it was always Gordon that people thought was J’s ‘double’. Duncan definitely has my colouring though – especially in his beard. I’m trying not to copy him with that!
      Alex’s dress is really lovely, I haven’t seen anything like it before and you probably know that I’m a fan of wedding dresses that actually have sleeves and a bodice, instead of the bride hanging out at the front!

  3. Katrina,
    How interesting–I think Duncan looks like both you and Jack–so handsome.
    And the wedding photo of the two of them is wonderful of both of them. And the photo of you and Jack is so good as well! I am going to save it. I love your outfit–the gray with the reds are such a lovely color combination.
    The ceremony’s rituals are so meaningful, I think, getting people to participate. I think it’s so important, especially for family, to feel that they’re an important part of Alex’s and Duncan’s new life together.

    • Judith,
      Until very recently nobody seemed to think that Duncan looked like Jack, whereas they’ve always thought that Gordon was Jack’s double. I think that D’s colouring is more like me but that’s all really. His beard is red. It was a very personal celebration which is so nice compared with so many register office weddings that seem so anonymous.

  4. Thank you for sharing, everyone looks handsome and it feels a real family wedding – not all the fuss. Just how wedding should be.

  5. I love weddings and wedding photos, so thanks for sharing these Katrina. I’ve seen that “tying the knot” ceremony before but not the passing the rings around all present. It’s lovely seeing how people make weddings their own these days.

    As for me, not weddings here, just a grandson. Our son and partner are doing it their way too!! (Our daughter is unattached.)

    • Whispering Gums,
      Lucky you – we live in hope of grandchildren – some day. The passing the rings around was really unexpected but lovely.

    • Stefanie,
      Yes I’ve been busy replanting them in the garden, we decorated the tables with them too – planted in buffed up bean cans and the guests were supposed to take them away with them but somebody forgot to mention that so they were all left behind.

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